I swear, sometimes I look at myself and go, “Wait, I’m someone’s mom? How did that happen?” It’s like one minute I’m living my best carefree life and the next, I’m knee-deep in diapers and spit-up. Talk about a plot twist!
But let me tell you, being a mom is like being thrown into the wildest ride of emotions. One minute you’re drowning in love so deep you can’t even handle it, and the next, you’re wondering if you’re actually cut out for this gig.
I mean, who knew that sleepless nights and diaper duty could be the ultimate test of endurance? And let’s not even get started on the chaos that occurs daily. But hey, amidst all the craziness, there are those moments – those tiny, precious moments – when I look at my little one and think, “Wow, maybe I’m not totally screwing this up.”
Now let’s talk about my Google abuse! It all starts innocently enough. I see a little red spot on my baby’s cheek. Then I start looking for answers online, thinking my child might have a rare rash! Then there are the midnight wake-up calls that end up with you googling and questioning your sanity. It usually would go along the lines of: Is it normal for babies to make that noise? Should their poop really be that colour? And why won’t they just sleep for more than two hours at a time?
And let’s not forget the endless stream of conflicting advice from well-meaning friends and family members. One swears you should introduce water to your baby before six months and the other insists that will be the devil’s work. But through it all, there’s a sense of empowerment that comes from arming yourself with knowledge. Sure, I may not have all the answers (spoiler alert: nobody does), but I’m learning to trust my instincts and embrace the unpredictable journey of motherhood.
So, what have I learned so far?
Being a mom has taught me patience, resilience, and the true meaning of unconditional love. It’s about finding beauty in the messiness of life and learning to cherish every moment, no matter how small. So yes, I still can’t believe I am a mom. But with each passing day, I’m learning to embrace the unbelievableness of it all – to cherish the highs and navigate the lows with humility. Because in the end, being a mom isn’t just about the title; it’s about the journey – messy, beautiful, and unbelievably rewarding.
I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and with a healthy dose of curiosity about what lies ahead. As your older, wiser self 😂, I wanted to take a moment to share some insights and reflections with you.
First and foremost, let me assure you that everything is going to be okay. I know you often worry about making the right choices and fret over whether you’re on the right path. Well, guess what? Life isn’t about following a straight line from point A to point B. It’s more like a crazy rollercoaster ride with unexpected twists and turns.
Now, let’s talk about contentment. I know you have this tendency to constantly compare yourself to others and measure your success by arbitrary standards. Stop that. Seriously, it’s exhausting and completely unnecessary. Instead, focus on being content with where you are right now. Embrace your journey, flaws and all, because it’s uniquely yours.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should become complacent. There are definitely areas where we could have done better. Remember that time you procrastinated on that important project until the last minute? And the time you got timid and didn’t fight for what was rightfully yours? Yeah, let’s try to avoid that in the future. And maybe lay off the junk food a bit and the late-night eating – our future self will thank us for it.
But here’s the exciting part – the future is brimming with possibilities! Sure, there will be challenges along the way, but there will also be countless opportunities for growth and fulfillment. Keep dreaming big and chasing those goals with passion and determination. And don’t forget to have fun along the way!
So, dear younger me, take a deep breath, relax, and trust in the journey ahead. Life has a funny way of working out, and I have a feeling that the best is yet to come.
Today, I’m going to spill the beans about my jealousy problems and how I’ve resolved to evolve into a better, less green-eyed monster. So, prepare yourself for some honesty, and if you’ve never been in my envious shoes, no worries. I just need you to hold off on the judgment – this is my humble confessional moment.
Jealousy is a complex and often overwhelming emotion affecting my relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being. It’s something that some of us have experienced at some point in our lives, and it can manifest in various forms, such as envy of someone’s success, possessions, or relationships. Today, I’ll tell you the things that used to make me jealous and share how I am working to become a better, more emotionally balanced person.
Identifying My Triggers
The first step in overcoming jealousy is recognizing what triggers this emotion. For me, there were a few common sources of jealousy:
Success and Achievements: I often found myself feeling envious of friends and colleagues who achieved great success in their careers or personal lives. Their accomplishments made me question my own worth and abilities.
Material Possessions: The constant bombardment of images on social media showcasing luxurious lifestyles, expensive possessions, and exotic vacations also fueled my jealousy. I couldn’t help but compare myself to those who seemed to have it all.
Relationships: Jealousy often reared its head in the context of romantic relationships. I’d feel threatened by the idea that someone might take my partner’s attention or affection away from me.
Working on Self-Improvement
Overcoming jealousy is an ongoing journey, and it requires self-awareness, reflection, and proactive steps. Here’s how I am working on becoming a better person and managing my jealousy:
Self-Reflection: I started by looking within myself and asking why I was feeling jealous. This introspection helped me know the insecurities and fears that were at the root of my jealousy.
Building Self-Esteem: I recognized that one of the main drivers of my jealousy was a lack of self-esteem. I began working on building a more positive self-image through self-affirmation and self-compassion.
Practicing Gratitude: To offset jealousy about what others have, occasionally I write down or email myself the things I appreciate, allowing me to center my attention on the positive elements of my own life.
Open Communication: In relationships, I’ve learned the importance of open and honest communication. Rather than bottling up my feelings of jealousy, I discuss them with my partner in a constructive way to build our trust and understanding.
Setting Realistic Goals: Instead of comparing myself to others, I now focus on setting achievable personal goals. This shift in perspective has allowed me to measure success based on my own progress, not someone else’s.
Jealousy is a challenging emotion to overcome, but with self-awareness and effort, it is possible to become a better person and lead a more emotionally balanced life. The journey to personal growth and overcoming jealousy is ongoing, but the steps I’ve taken have already made a significant difference in my overall well-being and relationships. Remember, we all have our unique paths to follow, and comparing ourselves to others is not a productive or healthy way to measure our worth.
Have you ever wrestled with the green monster? Please share in the comments about times you’ve been jealous and how you dealt with it in smart ways.
Hey there fellow mortals, immortals, and everything in between! Today, we’re diving headfirst into the tempting hypothetical world of the immortality pill.
Imagine a tiny, magical pill that grants you immortality. No more aging, no more worries about getting old, and absolutely no fear of losing your keys because, well, you’re going to be around forever to find them!
Now, let’s get one thing straight: Immortality sounds insane! Eternal movies, series binges, and never-ending parties? Now, let’s put on our speculative hats and explore the immortal territory! But before we proceed, know that we are not delving into this immortality experience being ‘broke’! We are self-sufficient people who are thriving!
So, imagine staying eternally young and beautiful, no need for anti-aging creams or Botox injections. Your photos could break the internet, and you’d probably be the envy the most of your friends. Let’s not forget that “forever young” could mean forever dealing with a midlife crisis for several centuries, or would you have been wiser enough to see these sorts of things coming and finding a brilliant way to stop them from ever happening because humans are just very basic 😔.
With immortality comes the possibility of experiencing everything. Every movie, every book, every video game. What happens when you’ve seen all the movies and shows, read all the bestsellers, and unlocked all the levels in your favourite game? Eternal boredom? Maybe not. With immortality, you’d have the time to create your own shows, write your bestsellers, and design your ground-breaking games. Maybe the real question is, would the world get bored of you?
One of the trickiest parts of immortality might be forming relationships. Imagine making friends, falling in love, and then watching them age and pass away while you remain the same. It’s like the ultimate weepie movie but in real life. Would you become emotionally detached or cherish every moment, knowing that goodbyes are inevitable? Immortality might make you a philosopher in the matters of love and death.
But should I take the pill, here are five eternal shenanigans I would indulge in if I were immortal:
Sample every cuisine: Immortal taste buds deserve a global tour of every cuisine, even the risky ones! Ever head of the mosquito cake? Look it up.
Write the world’s longest novel: Every person I meet gets a chapter in my immortal epic book. I’d include random thoughts and outbursts for variety. Guinness Book of Records, here I come!
Visit outer space: While Earth may become a bit repetitive, the universe is vast. Immortality is the perfect ticket to explore the universe.
Master the art of navigating the world with my multiple identities: I would appear in history as a mysterious character and keep switching my identity just for fun.
Build the tallest pyramid: I would build a pyramid taller than all the pyramids combined just for the heck of it, leaving a legacy that would baffle and amuse humanity for centuries to come knowing very well that I did it!
But then again, while the idea of immortality might seem enticing, it’s clear that it comes with some absurd, hilarious, and outrageous possibilities.
So, would I take the immortality pill?
As tempting as it sounds, I think I’ll pass for now. Life is beautiful. The ticking clock reminds us to make the most of every moment, to cherish our loved ones, and to strive to leave a positive mark on the world.
But hey, who knows what the future holds? Maybe a few years down the line if offered the pill, I’ll change my mind and embark on an eternal adventure filled with whatever binges suit my soul, never-ending pizzas, and the pursuit of wisdom. Until then, I’ll enjoy this beautiful, fleeting dance we call life.
Cheers to making the most of it, whether immortal or not! 🍕✨
Once upon a time, in the year 2009, I was sitting on a table in a tailor’s shop prepping for my second paper in English with my friends. That was my second time taking the paper because in my final year in secondary school, I was ill and missed a whole term before the WASSCE. The school I was taking the remedial class was just across the street and since it was an examination center, we could not revise in the classroom, hence, why we were hanging out at the tailor’s place.
I was seated there in blue jeans and a white T-shirt my mum had bought for me. I wish I had a more flattering outfit on but at that point in my life, I didn’t have the cash to look as great as my friends. I mean, we were not in uniform and that was a great opportunity to flaunt the dresses we had.
Since the paper was multiple choice, we were going through past questions and revising until the paper was due. Fifteen minutes to time, we decided to leave the tailor’s shop and head to the exams center. One of the tailor’s apprentice called me and said he wanted to see me.
Then, I was a little self-aware and a bit surprised I was the one that was called because my friends were gorgeous. Either way, I responded, and when I walked over to his table, I gasped.
If I tell you this was the most beautiful thing I ever saw I tell you no lies.
There I was, drawn with my pointed nose and a bright smile on his formica table.
All I could do was giggle, do my silly dance, and call my friends to come and see this amazing portrait of me. Sadly, I did not have a smartphone to capture the moment.
I thanked him countless times and throughout the paper I could not help but smile.
What he gave me that day was his gift of talent and time. It is a memory I will always treasure and one of the nicest gifts I have ever received.
Tell me in the comments section the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you.
Can I call a 3 minutes video a film? My answer is a resounding yes!
Yh yh yh, don’t come at me! I am a big star and I am blooming.😂
This film was shot by a brilliant London-based film director of Ghanaian heritage. Her aim? To create a series of video portraits that celebrate the success and vitality of the women in Ghana. She goes by the name Meena Ayittey, here’s a link to her page: https://www.meenamachina.com
Ask me how I landed this gig? I follow Hamamat on Instagram, she is this brilliant charismatic Ghanaian woman who inspires millions to be their true authentic African self. I noticed Meena on Hamamat’s page and just ‘shot my shot’ requesting that I wanted to be part of her documentary. I mean, I didn’t think it will go anywhere, it was just something in the wind. Imagine my excitement when she DM me asking if I was serious about being part of the documentary. Tell me, who would say no to such an offer?
The day of the shoot was exciting. I had prepared my answers to all her questions. I chose the University of Ghana to shoot the video, mainly because of the gardens and the serenity of Pent and boy was I nervous. I asked myself why I had agreed to do this in the first place. Anyways, she was great at her job and she was pretty easy to talk to.
Two things I wish I could change in this documentary?
Looking back, there are some questions I would have definitely answered differently.
Also, I could have calmed myself down before answering the questions. You can literally hear me panting throughout the whole video. To give you a fair perspective, this video was shot four (4) years ago
But all in all, it was a really great learning experience and I will do it again given the chance. In a decade, which will be 2029, I will come back and answer these questions. Heck! Who has the time to wait that long? I might just answer them in my next post.
Before we delve into the video, here are the answers I prepared:
What is your name and what do you do?
I’m Desaha Tobil and I currently work as an Account Executive for a mobile marketing company called Viotech. I am in my third year. (I no longer work here).
What is your earliest memory?
At about four years old, I stood on our dining table and tried flying. I came down with such a crush. I cried for a few minutes and went back again to try if flying was possible. I wanted to fly so bad.
I remember in those times, I always had this dream of always falling. 😨
I didn’t like the feeling that came with it, so I thought if I learned how to fly, then I could change my falling dreams into flying ones.😃
What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given?
To give out my all in all my endeavors and not hold back.
What inspires you?
One of my biggest inspirations is my personal experiences and the environment I find myself, such as things that I see or hear throughout my day, or what I see other people go through or what people tell me.
What do you feel are the misconceptions that people outside of Africa may have about Ghanaians/ Africans?
Africans/Ghanaians cannot do well without the west. That we cannot be our own people. I know we have set the pace where we always run to the west to request funds for our development. So much that I believe it has been generalized in we not being in existence if not for their aid.
But I believe if we stood our ground to develop our own land and people, we will definitely grow.
What do you know now that you wished you had known 10 years ago?
I wish I had known not to be too hard on myself but to learn from my mistakes and move on. Because honestly worrying about something you can’t change gets you nowhere.
Can you tell me something that nobody would guess about you?
That I am an absolute lover of horror movies😈, Courage the cowardly dog show introduced me to this genre.
What do you believe in?
I believe in myself.
I believe in God.
I believe in hope, compassion and forgiveness.
I believe in love. I’m a sucker for that.
If you could be doing anything right now, what would you be doing?
Travel through every country for the rest of my life because I believe in experiencing the culture of a country first-hand.✈️
What are the biggest challenges that you have had to overcome in your life?
My biggest challenge was, believing in myself. I have always had a very shrill voice and also I have thought I was ugly and no one wanted to be friends with me. I started keeping to myself and not even attempting to make friends.
Then a beautiful part of my life came along when I got to the university I started to step out of my comfort zone and did things that people who knew me didn’t expect of me. I became more talkative and got more involved in activities.
What is the most important thing to you?
My relationship with my friends and family. I believe no man is an island, so I try my best to nurture and cherish my relationships
What do you wish someone would ask you?
I wish someone would ask me – “What do you miss most about being a child?
And my answer would be, Takoradi, I miss running at the seashore barefooted, laughing and chasing my sisters. I miss the fact that the only languages I could speak were Talen, my native language and Fanti.
What are your passions?
Passion to lead a healthy life, find the best and become the best version of myself.
How would you describe yourself?
I consider myself a fun person. I like to read, play word games, and sing. I am honest, sincere, independent, and I try to fix things as much as I can on my own first.
What are you most afraid of?
Dying, for some reason. The real issue is that one day, my family, friends and everyone I love including myself would die. So scary!
What do you like the most about yourself?
I like that I am a creative thinker and easily make conversations with people.
I’m adventurous, and I’m always open to new ones.
I like my commitment to the improvement of myself
If you could change the world, what would you change?
If I could change the world I would eradicate poverty. In many parts of the world, millions of people are living in extreme poverty while in some other parts, there is extreme wealth. I would have made it possible for everyone to have a fair share of the world’s resources.
Is there a meaning of life?
I believe the meaning of life is to leave the world a better place than we met it. Show love and care where it is needed and lend a helping hand if you can
What is your biggest regret in life?
I don’t consider them as regrets but as lessons to become a better version of myself.
I can’t believe you have read my post to this end. Thanks for all the love and support.🤗🤗
Now, let’s watch the video and let me know your thoughts.
When you need to feel loved, I hope you embrace those times as natural and not as a weakness. I hope you have safe spaces to receive love without shame, fear, and being made unworthy.
I hope you embrace your bad decisions and take accountability for your actions. Accept it and move forward with new knowledge, and make better decisions. Believe that every situation yields growth.
I hope you embrace curiosity this will help you try out new things and attempt new adventures and opportunities. Curiosity is part of being human. You are naturally interested in some things. Embrace your nature and follow your interests.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. The only thing that matters in life is your family and the people around you. Embrace them! Sometimes your biggest support will come from absolute strangers. Embrace them. That’s family.
Love is a risk. Friendship is a risk. Trust is a risk. Embrace the sadness and pain of vulnerability, if not you will never truly experience real closeness.
I hope you don’t let people use your past to invalidate your current vision and embrace growth. Just because you did something wrong in the past doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it now.
Everything is in a constant state of change. It’s supposed to be that way. Trying to resist change is a sure way to bring pain into your life. Learn to flow with the change and embrace the constantly changing reality of life.
We’re in the last month of this year. Take time to rest. Take time to admire your growth. Take time to simply embrace every good thing that has come, every lesson, and everything that has had to go. Embrace every encounter and set the pace for next year!
This is a bleak and confusing post but do know that this is entirely my thoughts about death.
I probably think about death more often than others. The number of times I have fallen into the YouTube rabbit hole of death, suicide, cremation, burial, and whatnot is a shameful amount of time.
Why do I do it? I am intrigued, I want answers, and I want closure!
But in all honestly, none of them have given me the answers I need. They just give me a different perspective to toy around with the idea of death.
The concept of death itself doesn’t scare me. It’s the fact that it is without a doubt the only thing that is certain in life. It holds no biases and has been around for billions of years, yet we still know nothing of the exact aftermath.
Now, that is what frightens me!
I think almost everyone has a point in their life entertained the thought of living forever. In all honesty, I truly believe being alive for the rest of eternity is absurd and yet the idea of saying goodbye to my loved ones in the future breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. But I know it is something that will happen, and I will have to brace myself for it unless, of course, I beat them to it 😈.
I am religious, a staunch Catholic for that matter, and truly believe in life after death. We have a soul, and it doesn’t end with the death of our body but the opportunity to be in Paradise.
But you know, there is a difference between knowing and believing, and that is the mysterious line that makes it hard for me to let go of this verb word ‘DIE’. I don’t know if I am explaining myself enough. I mean take for example, when daybreak, I have got to brush my teeth at some point, get myself a meal, or be lazy, these are all things within my control. But this death thing has no itinerary. Nothing!
Now, let’s talk about those that have entertained the thought of suicide and those that have gone through with it! It’s sad to know that such people did not see any other alternative to this life but to resort to that. Before I proceed, please if you have any tendencies to commit suicide or planning to, kindly get help, for you are loved and dearly cherished. Now back to my topic, I can’t seem to understand the yearning for this unknown state of being that we believe will alleviate us of all our troubles by simply not being alive in this realm. How do we know we’re not in for a greater deal of suffering?
And no, I don’t mean hell, I mean ascending to a different realm or reality where we do this thing called ‘life‘ but with a completely different meaning. Is this the point where you tell me I watch too many movies?🤪
I mean there are millions of galaxies that we as humans know of and you don’t think that there are other profound beings who question their very existence as well?
Well, these are just surface-level thoughts that I think about frequently. But not too much to where it cripples me but more than average.
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